I don’t know if it was Cylie turning 6, the fall chill in the air (and wondering where summer went?!), the Christmas decorations already making their way out in stores or my new business opportunity teasing my imagination - but recently I’ve realized that yet another year is quickly ending and that has me thinking a lot about life, purpose and sacrifice lately. Yup, you may want to settle in…we’re going deep on this one. ; )

When you’re a child your primary purpose in life is to grow and learn. When you’re a teenager your purpose in life is to prove you know it all. Your 20’s are for “finding yourself,” dancing all night, making mistakes and learning from them, accepting responsibility, conquering the world and realizing how right your parents were all along. As a 28 year old, this is as far as I’ve gotten as far as life lessons go, but I hear your 30’s are for realizing how dumb you were in your 20’s and for settling in for the long haul. 401K will mean so much more to you than 420 ever did. And I’m totally OK with all of this as long as “that’s what she said” jokes never get old.

So if our primary purpose on this planet is to give life meaning, who or what determines that meaning? And are we all granted meaning at birth? If you believe in fate we do. If you’re religious, spiritual, intelligent or even a breathing human being, chances are you’re looking for your life to have great meaning and make a big impact on the world. But what if your purpose in life isn’t to be a millionaire, cure cancer, walk on the moon, or have a legacy? What if it isn’t even to have a white picket fence and three kids running around in the yard? What if they purpose of your life isn’t what you imagined at all?

We all look up to Dalai Lama, Mother Theresa, Gandhi and other selfless people who dedicate their lives to the greater good. But in this self absorbed generation where we value devices more than our souls, are there still people out there that would be OK dedicating their lives for the good of others? What about just one other? What’s more important: spending your life dreaming and working to accomplish those dreams or accept the cards you’ve been dealt and try to make the best of it?

Everywhere you look these days you see “you have to fight for what you want to achieve,” “dream big and achieve bigger,” “be the change you wish to see in the world.” What if the change I want to see in the world is physically impossible for me? Are some of us merely meant for mediocrity so those who were meant to be great have that difference? If so, how does one accept mediocrity, accept their life plan to be there for other’s greatness and be happy with their life?

“Here lies Mary Beth and she was amazingly average” just doesn’t have the ring to it that one would expect to see highlighting an entire lifetime…

Just returned from a really fun bachelorette weekend and have a SWAMPED month of March. Plus, I’m working on a special project that I’ll share with you as soon as it’s ready.

The Raw food challenge is was going great until the bachelorette weekend, and now that I’ve gone off the wagon it’s really hard to get back on. But - please don’t think I’m stuffing my face with bad foods. I did have a few french fries yesterday for the first time in 2 months but other than that, I’ve been eating salads, fish and grilled chicken when there are no other forms of protein around me. And the best part? I’m still losing weight! I’m down a whole size and lost 5 pounds last week. that makes my total 30 lbs overall! I definitely see more muscle tone so my trainer warned me that it may look like I plateau soon, but it’s really fat transforming into muscle. : )

I’m disappointed in not making it the whole 30 days but I’ve learned something about myself - moderation really does matter, and food tastes so much better when it comes from the earth. I’m definitely going raw this summer, the winter is just a little bit harder to go without warm foods. I’m getting better with the dehydrator and am looking more into holistic medicine.

First stop, acupuncture. My first appointment is the end of March - I’ll report back on how it goes!

Happy Tuesday lovelies!

Life can be a painful journey and a beautiful experience all at once.

I don’t know why I keep realizing this over and over again, but every time I do, it feels like the first time. Now wait, before you start singing that Foreigner song from the 70’s - stay with me for a second. (And that’s only if your thoughts go as quickly to movie quotes and song lyrics as mine do.)

If getting a hysterectomy, facing my infertility and experiencing menopause (for the very first time! - yeah, I’m listening to the song now) wasn’t enough in July. In August, my Grandfather was diagnosed with Leukemia. On Thursday, August 18th, the eve of Cylie’s 5th birthday, Grandpop gave us the scare of our lives. I got a call when I got out of a 5:00 meeting informing me that he was rushed to the hospital, and I needed to go home. Granted - this call was not from my parents. It was from my husband and my parents wanted him to wait and tell me when I got home, but he couldn’t wait and felt I needed to know. (Because they were right, had they called me I would have left at that moment and gone straight to the ER.) I waited by the phone for what felt like forever, because my Dad didn’t want us running up there until they knew what was happening. And God only knows the things you can catch at an ER waiting room at my low immune system levels. At midnight, I finally got the call that he was being transferred to the ICU and needed emergency surgery. I got in the car and drove straight to my brother’s house. And in my state of “hurry” - parked very inappropriately in his front yard. Later provoking his roommate to text him and ask if I was drunk when I did and if I was OK. Opps!

When we arrived at the hospital caffeine in hand, we were only allowed to visit him one or two at a time. Now, my Grandpop is a big dude! And to see someone that you’ve always looked up to, admired, respected and loved your whole life in such a frail state is like getting kicked in the stomach. You feel completely helpless. I stood by his side and held his hand while we waited for his platelet levels to get high enough to operate. Nevermind that one of the the night nurses thought that I was his wife, perv. Finally, at 6:30am they prepped him for surgery. By 7:30 he was out and we were so happy. He had an ulcer as a result from his first round of Chemo and that’s what was causing all the pain.They patched the hole and were out in a jiffy.

They kept him in the ICU for a few days, transferred him to a standard room, and we’ve been taking turns staying by his side ever since.

Plus, we still managed to give Cylie somewhat of a Birthday celebration, and were able to take the boat out for a few hours on Saturday to take her to her favorite island on Lake Hartwell. Insert the beautiful part of life here. No matter how hard life gets or how cliche it is, it’s important to stop and count your blessings. Seeing that beautiful little girl splash and play without a care in the world, can make you super envious of her joy and innocence can make all the difference in your life.